


Everybody begs to be redeemed

by heavenisalibrary



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 20:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2202411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenisalibrary/pseuds/heavenisalibrary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not an unusual story, and River’s not just heard it before, she’s lived it. She wants to tell the man that girls trapped in tall towers by evil witches sometimes learn to use a gun, or that sometimes being treated like a prize makes her captors more in need of saving than she is, but that’s not the biggest problem with the story he tells her. River finishes the last of her drink.</p><p>"There’s a damsel, alright," River says, "but I don’t think he’d take kindly to being called ‘her’ this go around, although the hair is a bit ridiculous, so you could get away with ‘beautiful.’"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody begs to be redeemed

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: river/doctor (11 or 12), he's a damsel in distress & she's his knight in shining armor (idek)

"There’s a beautiful damsel trapped at the top of the highest tower," says one of the men at the pub, a burly fellow with a thick beard who speaks out of the side of his mouth, "she was put there by a vengeful witch. One day some brave knight is going to save her and win her for himself."

It’s not an unusual story, and River’s not just heard it before, she’s lived it. She wants to tell the man that girls trapped in tall towers by evil witches sometimes learn to use a gun, or that sometimes being treated like a prize makes her captors more in need of saving than she is, but that’s not the biggest problem with the story he tells her. River finishes the last of her drink.

"There’s a damsel, alright," River says, "but I don’t think he’d take kindly to being called ‘her’ this go around, although the hair is a bit ridiculous, so you could get away with ‘beautiful.’"

Stupid Doctor, she thinks, can’t trust him alone for a minute.

She steals a horse, but it’s black, not white. She borrows armor — well, she doesn’t really borrow it, so much as use her hallucinogenic lipstick against some poor, slight knight and ride off with it. But she’s rolling her eyes so hard at the cliche she presents as she rides up to the tower — and of course it’s white, and covered in thorny vines — that it’s almost starting to hurt. She thinks she might be sick off of the irony.

She slays the dragon, climbs the tower, fights the witch, and finally arrives at the top, sweating and out of breath and stripping her armor off panel by panel as she climbs the stairs to the very top. She nearly leaves him for dead — stupid Doctor — when she sees the door’s locked, but after a moment of consideration she huffs a sigh, pulls a bobby pin from her hair, and picks it open.

He’s literally sitting on his hands. She wants to kill him.

He springs up when he sees her and rushes to give her a quick hug before he’s examining her all over for signs that she’s injured. She’s not, of course. Damsels in distress grow up to have very thick skins.

"Are you alright?" he asks, just to be sure.

"Fine," she says, waving him off. "You?"

"Brilliant, now," he says, beaming at her. 

She smiles back, and then she slaps him. He yelps, covering his cheek with his hand, and he comes up glaring at her, although she can tell by the slump to his shoulders that he knows he deserves it.

"You’re a rubbish knight," he tells her. "Aren’t you supposed to be chivalrous?"

“You’re a rubbish damsel,” she says. “Aren’t you supposed to let me climb up the tower on your hair?”

"Oi," he says. "You didn’t ask. I use excellent conditioner — I’m sure I could’ve taken the strain."

She can’t help but laugh. Then, “are you calling me a strain?”

"No, I —"

"Oh, shut up and kiss me already," River says, "aren’t you my prize?"

"You’re dreadful," he says, "truly the worst example of nobility in the world. I’m embarrassed to be rescued by you — go back and let another knight come and fetch me, someone young and strapping with manners —”

She kisses him to shut him up, and decides that this is the only part of the fairy tale she’ll let be.


End file.
